Panic attacks occur with no warning and may cause the person to feel that it will catch them off-guard again. Though, for those of us around someone like that, sometimes it can feel unpredictable. It’s far more common than we usually think. So, it’s important to understand what to do if you or someone you know is having one. Done properly, you can make both yourself and someone else feel safe and supported, and no one ends up feeling worse.
Recognizing a Panic Attack
A panic attack is the rapid onset of intense fear and physical symptoms that occur in the absence of real danger or a warning. Panic attacks are not harmful, but they can be terrifying. They may be triggered by particular things or situations, such as crowded spaces or personal fears, but they can also occur without a clear cause.
Common physical signs and emotional symptoms of panic attacks include:
- Severe anxiety
- Shortness of breath
- Chest pain or tightness
- Dizziness
- Lightheadedness
- Sweating or chills
- Trembling or shaking
- Nausea or upset stomach
- Tingling or numbness in the hands or face
- Fear and feelings of doom
- Feelings of losing control
- Feelings of detachment or separation from oneself or surroundings (depersonalization and derealization)
If panic attacks are severe and/or frequent, consider seeing a healthcare provider. You can also do it online through telehealth platforms like MEDvidi and get online anxiety treatment from home.
How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack
Your calm and reassuring presence can be a great help to someone experiencing a panic attack. Here are some common recommendations:
- Stay Calm: Speak in a low, relaxed voice to not upset them more. Your words may give them a sense of security.
- Ask How You Can Help: If they’re able to speak, gently ask, “What do you need me to do for you right now?” or “Do you want me to be with you?” Some want silence; others need verbal support, let them lead you.
- Provide Reassurance: People experiencing panic attacks need to know that they are not alone and that what they are experiencing will pass. Saying things like: “You’re safe right now”, “I’m here with you” can help.
- Promote Slow, Deep Breathing (If Possible): Help the person to take slow breaths if he or she is hyperventilating: inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 4 seconds, exhaling for 4–6 seconds. Breathe together, and they can mimic your calm pace.
- Use Grounding Techniques: Grounding can remove focus from the symptoms of panic. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: ask them to name 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste.
- Assist Them in Finding a Better or Quieter Spot: If they seem like the environment is too much for them, ask if you can take a walk somewhere quieter so they can breathe and feel comfortable again.
- Give Them Their Personal Space: Resist touching unless they request it, or you know they are comforted by it. We all react differently; some find the pressure of touch soothing, others can become even more anxious.
Lastly, being patient and compassionate can help the person feel safe and supported until the panic attack passes.
Remember that panic attack symptoms can mimic serious medical issues like a heart attack. If you’re unsure whether it’s a panic attack or a medical emergency, it’s important to seek professional help.
What to Avoid During a Panic Attack
The way you respond can either make the person having a panic attack feel safer, or make them feel worse. It’s essential to be mindful of what you say and do, even if your intentions are good. Here are some things you shouldn’t do in that kind of moment.
Don’t Judge Their Experience
Telling someone “You’re overreacting” or “It’s no big deal” can cause them to feel alone or misunderstood. Panic attacks are very real to the person experiencing them, no matter how insignificant the trigger may seem to others. On the other hand, by validating their experience, you help them feel supported.
Don’t Pressure Them to Calm Down
Advising someone to “just breathe” or “get a grip” can sound dismissive. Panic attacks aren’t just a matter of mind over matter; they are often beyond a person’s control and cannot be overcome through sheer willpower. Rather, remain calm and present, providing soft reassurance that requires nothing in return.
Do Not Try to Compare
Although it may seem helpful to share how “you used to feel the same way” or what “worked for you,” it can lead the person you’re talking to feel you’re not hearing them. When somebody is having a panic attack, they need space and support. It’s better to save the advice for later, when they’re ready to talk.
Don’t Leave Them Alone
Leaving someone midway through a panic attack can escalate feelings of fear and helplessness. Also, try to be close by around them, being sure to remain non-intrusive and calm until they start to recover or ask to be left alone. Honor their boundaries while also making sure that they don’t feel abandoned.
After the Panic Attack
Once initial panic has subsided, it is necessary to move on to recovery, reflection, and ongoing support. Here’s what you can do for a person who just had a panic attack.
- Gently inquire how they’re feeling and if there’s anything they need: water, rest, or silence.
- Tell them you’re available to talk if and when they’re ready. Don’t judge the incident or break it down too much. It can mean a lot just to be there and be emotionally present.
- Both you and the other person may be emotionally exhausted. It’s okay to suggest relaxing or calming activities, anything that helps the nervous system, from walking or journaling to listening to music.
- If the person has a history of panic attacks and they impact day-to-day life, advise them to talk to a mental health professional. Reinforce that getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
When to Seek Emergency Help
Panic attacks may be intense, but they’re not generally life-threatening. But you should be aware that symptoms that look like a panic attack can be a sign of something more serious. For example, a heart problem or another type of medical emergency. Look for indications that are not consistent with a common panic attack:
- Pain in the chest, arm, jaw, or back
- Persistent shortness of breath
- Passing out or being unconscious
- Confusion or disorientation
- If symptoms persist for more than 20 minutes and remain severe
If you have even the slightest doubt, call 911 right away. A checkup from a medical professional can be quite reassuring, and they can rule out anything else and guide you on the next needed steps.
Supporting Yourself as a Helper
It’s sometimes draining to have to be there for someone who is experiencing a panic attack, particularly if they happen frequently. You may feel at times that you’re overwhelmed, helpless, or anxious. Remember that your own mental and emotional well-being is important too.
Having enough rest and setting boundaries are just some of the common self-care steps. Talking to someone you trust and participating in stress-reducing activities is also important. You need to take care of yourself so that you can be calm and supportive when needed. Lending support to others begins with being kind and compassionate to yourself.
Conclusion
Providing support through a panic attack comes down to being empathetic, patient and presenting yourself as someone who is calm and rational. The most important thing you can do in a time of such anguish is to be there, and to speak with the comforting voice of truth. Panic feels different for everyone. By listening with an open mind and recognizing when to get the help of a professional, you can be a steady source of solace and safety.